Research Findings

How Does Remarriage Affect the Co-parenting of Former Spouses?

Kay Pasley* in STEPFAMILIES, Summer 1997

More and more we are seeing an interest in helping divorced parents work cooperatively on behalf of their children to develop a positive "co-parental" relationship. Emily and John Visher (1989) have suggested that developing a "parenting coalition" is a more accurate way to describe the desired relationship between former spouses when a remarriage occurs and more than two adults are attempting to parent a child. Much of the literature on this topic has suggested that when a remarriage of one or both parents occurs, the cooperative parenting patterns and roles that were established following divorce are disrupted because of the addition of a new spouse who also become a stepparent. The rules that work for the postdivorce couple often need to be revisited or defined in the face of the changes that accompany remarriage.

While we have a good deal of information on the relationship between former spouses after divorce, such as how they interact and how that interaction affects children, we know little about how the remarriage of one or both of those parents affects the established patterns of parenting. What few studies we have suggest that remarriage negatively affects the ability of former spouses to coparent effectively. For example, studies show that remarriage reduces the interaction between former spouses around child rearing concerns (Ahrons & Wallisch, 1987; Ruffin, 1991; Seltzer, 1991), reduces the frequency of visitation between nonresident parents and children (Furstenberg & Nord, 1985; Seltzer, 1991), and reduces the parent's satisfaction with parenting (Ahrons & Wallisch, 1987; ruffin, 1991). Research also shows that the negative effects of remarriage are especially true when only the husband is remarried (Ahrons & Wallisch, 1987; Seltzer, 1991; Buehler & Ryan, 1995).

A recent study reported in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage also investigated the effects of remarriage on coparenting, asking whether remarriage was the main influence or whether other factors had greater influence on the relationship between former spouses around parenting issues. More specifically, the authors asked how influential one's remarriage was on cooperative parenting, parenting satisfaction, and involvement with one's children above and beyond the effects of visitation, custody, and income. (Visitation, custody, and income are known to affect coparenting, such that cooperation between former spouses is associated with more frequent visitation by the nonresident parent, joint custody arrangements, and higher levels of income.)

Unlike many of the studies that examined coparenting, Donna Christensen and Kathryn Rettig secured a large, random sample drawn from 10 counties in Minnesota of divorced persons whose marriages ended in 1986. They followed these couples for three years. At that point 28.5% of the women and 38.3% of the men had remarried from the 372 women and 277 men involved in the study. Most of the divorced men and women had one or two children, had been married an average of 10.6 years, and were in the early to mid-30s.

Several aspects of coparenting were examined: sharing of child rearing activities with the other parent, providing support to one another, engaging in conflict, and holding a positive attitude toward the other parent. Also, they asked questions about the parents' level of satisfaction with parenting, how involved they were with children, their frequency of visitation, the nature of the custody arrangements, their perceptions of economic adequacy, and their personal well-being.

Their findings showed that men and women saw postdivorce parenting differently. For example, women reported less coparental interaction, support, and conflict with former spouses than did men. Women also perceived their former spouse in less positive light, but were more satisfied with parenting and more involved in activities with their children than were men. Those who had remarried compared to those who remained single also reported differences. Single parents reported more coparental interaction, support from one's former spouse, and more positive attitudes toward the other parent than did remarried parents. Remarried men also experienced less parenting satisfaction and lower involvement in their children's activities than did remarried women.

Although remarriage affected coparenting, frequency of visitation, custody status (sole versus joint), and income were more influential. In other words, just knowing whether a parent had remarried does not sufficiently explain negative postdivorce coparenting experiences. Instead knowing how frequent the nonresident parent visits his/her child and whether parents hold joint custody are important to understanding cooperating parenting behaviors after divorce. This is the key finding of the study. It suggests that the coparenting pattern established prior to one's remarriage is maintained and not disrupted as once thought it would be at least in the early stages of remarriage.

References:

Ahrons, C.R., & Wallisch, L.(1987). Parenting in the binuclear family: Relationship between biological and stepparents. In K. Pasley & M. Ihinger-Tallman (Eds.), Remarriage and stepparenting (pp. 225-256). New York: Guilford Press.

Christensen, D.H., & Rettig, K.D. (1995). The relationship of remarriage to post-divorce co-parenting Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 24(1/2), 73/88.

Furstenberg, F.F., Jr., & Nord, C.W. (1985). Parenting apart: Patterns of childrearing after marital disruption. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 47, 893-904.

Ruffin, W.J. (1991). Paternal involvement in divorce fathers related to marital status, custody arrangements, and perception of adequacy of child support paid. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, St. Paul, MN: University of Minnesota.

Seltzer, J.A. (1991). Relationships between fathers and children who live apart: The father's role after separation, Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53, 79-101.

Visher, E.B., & Visher, J.S. (1989). Parenting coalitions after remarriage: Dynamics and therapeutic guidelines. Family Relations, 38, 65-70.

* Kay Pasley is the Chair of the SAA Research Committee, and is on the faculty at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.